Games to play with your baby

Your baby will develop at an amazing rate in her first year. She'll seem to acquire new skills overnight.

It won't be long before your wriggling, helpless baby works out how to roll over, sit, crawl, stand and walk.

The games below will help you to encourage your baby to make the most of her new abilities as she discovers them. You should both have a lot of fun along the way.

Which games are best for babies under three months?

Copycat

Your baby loves having the chance to watch your face and this game will help sharpen her visual skills too. Hold your baby close, she can focus best at about 20cm to 35 cm. When she is gazing into your eyes, slowly poke your tongue out. Do this every 20 seconds or so.

It may take about a minute but you will soon notice she's sticking her tiny tongue back out at you. She'll try to imitate other facial expressions too, such as a big smile or wide open mouth.

Tickle songs

Once your baby is a little older, play This Little Piggy or Round and Round the Garden with her feet or hands. Hold her on your lap and gently uncurl her toes or fingers as you sing. Repeat the song a couple of times until she starts to giggle in excited anticipation of the tickle at the end.

Simple, repetitive rhymes are great for improving your baby's memory skills.

Roll and stretch

Your baby will soon be able to raise her head up for a second or two when lying on her tummy. If she's happy in this position, roll a brightly-coloured ball across her line of vision, about 60cm from her body.

To begin with she'll concentrate on watching the ball, but soon she'll try to stretch towards it. This will help strengthen her neck, arm and leg muscles. Always give her lots of praise and finish the game as soon as she starts to get frustrated.

Which games are best for babies under six months?

Catch me

Attach a small soft toy to a brightly-coloured ribbon. Dangle it in front of your baby and make it sway. When she reaches out to try and touch or grab it, give her lots of praise. Squeaky toys will also entice your baby to reach and grab, and help her practise her hand-eye co-ordination.

Chatterbox

Have a conversation together. Your baby loves interacting with you and as she becomes more vocal. Responding to her coos, gurgles and grunts will also encourage her to understand and try to form words.

Sit her facing you and when she says "aahh" say "aahh" in return. Encourage her to mimic you too. Try, for example, stretching the sounds out. Instead of "bah" say "baaaaaah". Or even add a new sound to a familiar one, for example "ooh-baaaah".

Bubble magic

Most babies are fascinated by bubbles. Sit her in her bouncy chair or car seat and blow bubbles around her. See how she follows the bubbles with her eyes as they float down.

Blow bubbles when she's outside in her buggy too. If she catches one she'll learn about cause and effect, touch a bubble and watch it go pop. (Remember to clean her hands afterwards so she doesn't get soapy water in her eyes.)

Which games are best for babies under nine months?

Puppet show

Make some simple finger puppets by cutting the fingers off old gloves. Give them ears, eyes and a mouth with pieces of glued-on felt. Show your baby how you can make them sing, dance, tickle and kiss. She'll love watching them come alive, and pretending that the puppets are real will help develop her imagination.

In and out

Your baby loves emptying everything including drawers, your purse, boxes of tissues, bags. Turn this into a game you can both play.

Fill a large plastic container or bowl with safe, interesting objects, such as blocks, small soft toys, rattles or measuring cups. Help your baby pick up the container and turn it upside down, then together fill the container up again.

Handling different objects will help her learn about size, shape and weight as well as introducing concepts such as big and small, empty and full.

Adventure playground

If your baby is on the move, build a miniature obstacle course out of cushions. Stay at ground level and peep out from behind them, or use a toy to encourage her to climb over them. This fun game will help develop her body strength, balance and co-ordination.
Which games are best for babies under 12 months?

Kick ball

Your baby doesn't need to be walking to have fun with a football. Place a lightweight, medium-sized ball in front of you and hold her firmly under the arms. Pick her up and swing her forward so her legs make contact with the ball. By doing this you can help her kick it across the floor.

Swinging her legs helps your baby strengthen her tummy and leg muscles, and prepares her for playing football for real when she's older!

Tower power

Gather together a collection of old cereal boxes, lightweight books, plastic bowls, yoghurt pots and baby blocks. Then work together to build a tower. Once it's up and ready, take it in turns to knock it down. Your baby will love watching it tumble. At the same time, she's learning about sizes and shapes.

Watch me!

Your baby loves imitating you. If she sees you busy brushing your hair or wiping your face she'll try to copy what you're doing. Turn this instinct into a fun game by doing things like slapping your thigh, putting your hands on your head and blowing out your cheeks.

Invent a silly song to go with your actions, and she'll learn new words too. Learning to imitate is one of the first steps towards imaginative play.

Babies Learn When We Sing To Them

1. Bonding – When you sing to your baby, she bonds with you and your voice. Singing makes yours the first and most important voice in her life. Your baby learns that you LOVE her!
2. Transitions – Babies feel safe when life is predictable. A song for waking up, sleeping, and other routine transitions and activities helps them know what comes next.  
3. Language – Language is in itself musical, and when you sing and speak, your baby learns about words, language, and communication. Through your singing, baby's language comprehension begins.
4. New words – While you sing and hold your baby, you introduce new vocabulary. When you hold up a stuffed dog as you sing about a dog, baby learns to associate the name of that toy with the words you sing. When you sing about parts of the body and kiss your baby's feet or tickle his tummy, he learns new words.
5. Rhythm and rhyme – Music includes rhythm and rhyme, again, part of our language. In time, babies will recognize rhymes and rhythms.
6. Play – Singing is one of many methods of play and "sing-play" is a fun way to interact with babies.
7. Family fun – Singing is a great way to involve older siblings in welcoming a new baby to the home. Singing to and playing with the baby builds a bond between siblings. Make singing a family activity.
8. Singing names – A baby can learn his name by hearing it in songs. Try substituting your baby's name for other words in songs so he hears his name sung over and over again.
9. Listening skills – Like reading, singing is an activity that requires listening. It's another opportunity for your baby to begin to understand language and feelings expressed through language and sing-play.
10. LOVE – All of the above boils down to using your singing voice as a way to express love. Babies don't  care if you are a great singer. They only care that you are singing to THEM! In their eyes (and their ears), you'll be a star!

Playtime Activities Which Encourage Walking

Here are some fun activities to help an infant learn to walk. Remember, learning to walk is mostly a natural process, but here are some ways to encourage a baby in his or her new-found adventure. Use these every day household items to encourage walking:

• Line up chairs side-by-side against the wall. Be sure the chairs are placed firmly against one another and firmly against the wall. Place a toy on the top of the last chair. Encourage the baby to hold onto the chairs to reach the toy. Scarves- gently wave a scarf at the end of the last chair. Baby will love the colors and will try to reach for the scarf.
• When baby can stand, play Ring around the Rosie. (Ring around the Rosie, A pocket full of Posies, a-tishoo a-tishoo, we all fall down). Holding onto the baby's hands, walk slowly around in a circle. After a few times, fall down together.
• Blowing bubbles- sit on the floor (cover the floor with newspaper) or go outside and gently blow bubbles for your little one to follow.
• Hula Hoop- hold a hula hoop and guide the baby to step through it (for infants just starting, they may want to crawl through the hula hoop which is OK too).
• Hold baby's hands and show him or her how to gently bend the knees to bounce up and down.
• Play parade- When baby is able to stand, begin to show him or her different movements, like a wiggle. Take an object that makes noise, like a musical instrument, or toy and hold it just out of the baby's reach. Show her how to wiggle to the sound. This will help to strengthen her legs and teach balance. In the beginning, be sure to do this near a chair or ottoman so baby can hold on if she loses her balance.

A Caution About Teaching Toddler To Walk

Although you may be anticipating those first steps, at no time should a child be forced to walk. He or she will let you know when it is time. Remember that your baby will develop at his or her own pace. Simply bouncing a baby on your lap, or laying the baby on his back and allowing him to push his legs against your hands can help with balance, coordination and strengthening his legs.

Important Notes When Teaching Toddler To Walk

While adults tend to think of walking as a way to get from A to B, toddlers view their newfound mobility quite differently. In your child's first months on their feet, they will be far more interested in exploring things around them than following mum or dad.

You should notice that your toddler will do most of his or her walking while you're sitting still. This way, they can come and go from you as they want. In fact, you may even find that when you get up and start moving yourself, you'll probably find that your toddler stops (and maybe makes signals to be carried).

Keep your stroller/push chair to hand! Just because your toddler is walking, they will tire easily and be prone to wandering. So don't ditch the buggy to early!

Learning to Walk in 10 Easy Steps

Step 1 – Tummy Time

Long before your baby starts taking those first steps, you can give your baby some tummy time. From just a few weeks' old, he or she can spend up to 30 minutes a day on the tummy. This helps develop coordination in your baby as well as helping to strengthen their precious little neck and back muscles.

 

Step 2 – Practice rolling over

This will start to happen naturally as baby becomes curious about things around them. You will notice your baby starting to look from side to side. You can encourage them to flip from back to tummy by holding a toy in front of them and as they reach for it, slowly move it across their body so that their reaching turns into a rolling over. Again, this will help develop leg, neck, back, and arm muscles.

 

Step 3 – Encourage sitting and leaning

Starting at around four months, your baby can start sitting while supported and at six months he or she may be able to sit by him or herself. You can help them into a sitting position by carefully pulling them from lying on their backs using their hands. You can also hold a toy just out of reach to encourage them to lean in different directions.

 

Step 4 – Place things just out of reach

From six to ten months, your baby will start to lunge for objects from sitting position. Take advantage of this and start placing objects further away to encourage movement. You may also want to start childproofing your home with your child's new found mobility.

 

Step 5 – Help strengthen tiny leg muscles

Your baby will soon start pulling him or herself up on objects like furniture, your leg, or anything else to which will support them. This is the tipping point and after strengthening the leg muscles, you'll find your baby is well on their way to standing up without support (if only for short moments at a time to begin with). You can help strengthen those leg muscles by bouncing your baby gently on your lap with their feet on your legs. It's also wise to teach them to bend their knees so they learn how to get back onto the floor.

 

Step 6 – Be a companion

Once your baby gains more strength and balance, he or she will soon start to "cruise" or move along by holding onto furniture and other objects. And while you did some childproofing when your baby began to crawl, this would be a good time to childproof your house again! A nice way to support your baby walking is to hold their hands and walk behind them.

 

Step 7 – Consider a walking aid

The jury is out on baby walkers so we won't condone or condemn them here. Suffice to say that some people swear by them and others suggest that a baby walker is unnecessary and potentially even detrimental. It's up to you. Even if you decide against a walker, there are other walking aids such as a stroller, a push-trolley, and a jumper. Whatever you decide to do, we recommend you do as much research as possible before choosing which (if any) walking aid you are going to use.

 

Step 8 – Go somewhere fun!

And now for the moment you've been waiting for: Most toddlers will take their first steps anywhere from nine to thirteen months and can start walking steadily between fourteen to seventeen months. You can encourage your baby to walk between you and another person kneeling on the floor and you should notice your baby will let go of walls, furniture, and your hands as they start to take those first steps on their own.

 

Step 9 – Don't compare

Remember: not all babies are the same. They will reach milestones at different times. The time it takes for a baby to reach a particular milestone can vary due to different body weights or even personality. While it can be hard, try not to get frustrated or disappointed if your baby doesn't toddle at a precise point in their development. Keep in mind that the given walking timeline is an approximation and not set in stone.

 

Step 10 – Get the right footwear

It's a good idea to go shopping for shoes at the end of the day because your child's feet will swell a little throughout the day. Have your toddler stand in the shoes and make sure they have a little room to spare at the toes and heel. Let your toddler walk around in the shoes for a while in the shop and then check for any irritated, red spots on the feet. If there are spots, try a bigger size.

 

Learn to walk can affect your child's emotional behaviour

No More Naps! Your toddler may decide to stop napping quite as regularly now that life has taken on new challenges. If the normal routines don't suit his energy levels anymore, it may be time to reorganise the day to reflect your child's changing needs – such as cutting down from two naps to one in the middle of the day. It will reduce the amount of time you have for yourself, but it's worth doing if you don't want his bedtime to be affected.

CHANGING PATTERNS Your baby's drive to master standing and walking has probably upset his daily routine - including his sleep schedule. His nap schedule, which was divided between morning and afternoon, becomes less predictable. A baby may prefer spending his time moving back and forth to sleeping in his cot. Continue to put him in his cot for a short time in the morning and afternoon, but don't worry if he doesn't rest. He'll eventually start actually sleeping again once he conquers walking and the novelty wears off. At night, sleep disruption is even more likely. You can help him get back to sleep by reacting calmly and firmly and reinstating all the familiar rituals. Give him about 10 minutes to go back to sleep on his own. Then go in and pat him and reassure him you're there, and leave.

Eating patterns may also be disrupted, with your baby eating next to nothing at one meal and more than you at the next. Trust him - he'll balance it out provided you don't make a big issue of it. Offer high-energy snacks such as a bread roll or toast with cream cheese or bananas.

10 Ideas for Baby's First Halloween Party

My wife and I had the privilege of welcoming three newborns into our home, and we experienced all the joy (and exhaustion) that came with each of them. Now that our last child, James, is nearly five months old and our newborn days are behind us, I can't help but feel a bit wistful. Here are ten things I'm going to miss the most about having a newborn:

 

How they curl up in the fetal position
I found it so cute whenever I discovered my newborns this way, and it makes sense when you consider that at this point in their lives they've spent more time inside the womb than outside it!

 

Newborn diapers
These tiny diapers are so cute that they're even cute when they're soiled! Well, not quite. But they are adorable.

 

Cuddles
I will definitely miss the way newborns burrow into their parents and seem to get so much comfort from being cuddled. Such a special time.

The way they wrap their entire hand around one of our fingers
I mean look at that photo. How could you not miss that?

 

Newborn hair
All three of my kids were born with a shock of black hair just like mine, but within a couple of months they lost it all! Interestingly, each of my kids later grew back hair that was much lighter and more like their mother's.

 

Kissing their cheeks
There is nothing softer in the world than a newborn's cheek. I must have kissed each of my kid's cheeks a thousand times each.

 

How they fit in the palm of your hand
As your baby grows it becomes harder to imagine that they were once so small, but they were. Those first few weeks when you can hold your newborn in one hand are incredible.

 

Baby baths
Bathing your newborn for the first time is surprisingly fun, and I always loved seeing my newborn's "What the heck is happening to me?" expressions.

 

Newborn pudge
The round cheeks and chubby thighs on a newborn are the best.

 

The sense of awe and discovery
Those early days when you're getting to know who your little person is are incredible. The good news is that, while a baby is only new once, they continue to surprise you every day of their lives!

10 Ideas for Baby's First Halloween Party

Celebrating Baby's first holidays is exciting and Halloween is especially fun because you get to dress them up. Baby is still little and doesn't quite get what all the fuss is about so keep their first Halloween party simple. I've been thinking about this a lot lately since this will be my son's first Halloween. Here are a few baby-friendly ideas to help with your planning!

 

Baby's First Halloween
You've gone to the pumpkin patch and have Baby's costume. Now it's time to start planning a party! One question you might be asking yourself is whether to go with scary or cute. When it comes to little ones, try to stick with cute until they get a little older (or keep the scary stuff for outside decor like I do).

 

Pumpkin Treats
It can be tricky to find baby-friendly treats to serve, but pumpkin yogurt is sure to be a hit! I mixed together one cup of vanilla yogurt, a half cup of canned pumpkin puree and a sprinkling of pumpkin spice. Serve in little containers with faces drawn on them or other festive cups or bowls.

 

Pumpkin Play
Oobleck is fun for little hands and safe too. This pumpkin oobleck version is perfect for Halloween. I bet you'll enjoy getting your hands in there too!

 

Plushy Pumpkin
Babies like to play and explore new toys. This set of Baby's First Halloween Toys keeps the holiday fun rather than scary. Each one makes a noise making them good for sensory play.

 

Bewitching Pumpkin Head
Help Baby decorate her first pumpkin with fun push pin pieces like this Mrs. Potato Head Witch pumpkin decorating set. Or draw silly faces. Or find other creative ways to decorate your pumpkins together. Carving can wait until they get bigger.

 

Pumpkin Rubber Ducky
Halloween themed rubber duckies can be used as an alternative to bobbing for apples. Use a baby tub with low water so the little ones can grab one out. Or have duck races. Or it can be a cool party favor.

 

Halloween Spaghetti
Cooked pasta can be used for more sensory play or cut up into small bite-sized pieces for older babies. Make Halloween colored noodles to be extra festive. If using in a sensory bin you could add fake bugs, pipe cleaners, etc.

 

High Chair Banners
You'll want to take lots of pictures to remember their first Halloween party. Whether it is a birthday party or not, decorating with a pumpkin high chair banner makes a great photo prop!

 

Pumpkin Saucer
These glow in the dark pumpkin discs can double as favors and plates for guests.

 

Mummy Sippy Cup
Decorate Baby's sippy cup to look like a mummy by wrapping gauze around it. I used a self sticking wrap which made it super simple. Just wrap and draw on a face. This one is happy!

Common Fertility Myths Busted-2

The Pill Reduces Fertility

No evidence shows that the consistent use of birth control pills affects future fertility. Because they remain in a woman's system for around 24 hours at a time, birth control pills never make much of an impact on the body's ability to reproduce. If anything, using the pill or one of its hormonal counterparts such as the patch or the ring can actually help fertility in some women. "Birth control pills have been used to treat and reduce symptoms of disorders such as endometriosis, which is a factor in infertility," says Dr. Brasner.

 

Stress Causes Infertility

While stress can delay ovulation by suppressing hormones, it holds no bearing over a couple's ability to procreate. The actual meeting of sperm and egg isn't affected by normal stress at all. Of course, if stress is affecting a couple's ability to have intercourse, then that's an entirely different story!

Likewise, a distinction must be made between everyday stress and severe stress, says Dr. Singh. If your stress affects the quality of your work or family life, it may also be affecting your fertility. Acupuncture and other therapies could be beneficial for the severely stressed who want to be pregnant," suggests Dr. Singh.

 

You Can't Get Pregnant during Your Period

Since ovulation time varies in women, it is possible to get pregnant during your period. Although unlikely, says Dr. Singh, some women ovulate as early as the seventh day or have an extended period of menstruation that lasts until ovulation. Likewise, since sperm can live in the cervical mucus for an average of two days, anything is possible.

Got all of that? Good! We hope fertility is no longer such a fog of conflicting data points to you. It can seem complex to understand what with monitoring your temperature, ovulation, and the like, but once you get past the falsehoods, you'll have a clearer view of the path to conception.

 

Conception Occurs Only during Intercourse

"It can take up to several days from the moment of intercourse for conception to occur," says Dr. Brasner. This is where birth control measures such as the rhythm method go awry. Since sperm can live in a woman's reproductive tract for days, a woman could have sex a few days before ovulation and still get pregnant. Oh, the mysteries of conception!

 

Conception Is Easy after Baby Number 1

While it is slightly more likely you will be able to conceive another child after having one, there are no guarantees. A first pregnancy can make the uterus unsuitable for conception, says Dr. Singh, or, "If you are close to the age of 40 … ovarian reserve may have become limited." Secondary infertility, that is, trouble conceiving a second or subsequent child, is a very common phenomenon. Each pregnancy is unique and equally a blessing.

 

Ovulation Occurs on Day 14

While the typical menstrual cycle is 28 days, not every woman is typical. In fact, many women have a cycle that lasts from 21 days up to as many as 35 days, says Dr. Singh. To calculate your day of ovulation, count backwards 14 days from the last day of your cycle. It very well could be day 14, or day 12, or day 20.

You can also try more sophisticated methods for predicting your patterns and days of ovulation. Try tracking your basal body temperature, watching for changes in your cervical fluid, or testing your saliva or urine for the presence of chemicals indicating ovulation is near.

 

 

Common Fertility Myths Busted

Fertility Problems Begin at 35

Facts show that fertility changes throughout a woman's life and doesn't suddenly decline when she turns 35. Rather, many women reach their fertile peak in their early twenties, says Dr. Shari Brasner, author of Advice From a Pregnant Obstetrician: An Inside Guide. This is an age when most women aren't even considering having children yet, says Dr. Brasner. But just because you're not thinking about children doesn't mean your biological clock isn't ticking. Knowing and understanding this from early adulthood can prevent a lot of heartbreak later on and give you realistic expectations about your chances of conceiving.

Infertility Is a Female Problem

For some reason, when a problem with fertility arises with a couple, the party responsible is often assumed to be the woman—yet this couldn't be further from the truth. According to Dr. Benjamin Rivnay, vice president of research and development at Repromedix, a specialty infertility testing lab in Woburn, Massachusetts, 40 percent of infertility problems are attributed to men. Another 40 percent is attributed to women, and about 20 percent of infertility problems can be attributed to both parties.

Good Health = Good
Although women have been conceiving babies since the beginning of time, false presumptions and myths about fertility abound. In a 15-question survey concerning basic fertility facts conducted by the American Fertility Association, only one out of 12,382 respondents answered all of the questions correctly! Just one!

What causes so many misconceptions about conception? Some are old wives' tales, others just hearsay or distorted science. They've either been around so long or they fit well enough into anecdotal experience that they aren't questioned as they should be. What it comes down to is that a lot of people have the wrong idea about humans' reproductive systems and how they work.

One of the most common myths about fertility—that being in good health means conception is more likely—is believed by many women, according to Dr. M. Singh, a reproductive endocrinologist at the William Beaumont Hospital, Royal Oak, Michigan. "They feel that as long as they take care of themselves by eating properly and exercising, that fertility will not decline," says Dr. Singh. Yet this simply is not the case. Fertility declines as we age, regardless of health—and even though not smoking extends fertility, it does not prevent a decline altogether.

We've compiled some of the most common fertility myths and paired them up with the facts to set the record straight.

Daily Sex Helps Conception

Although it may be fun, having intercourse more frequently than normal will not necessarily increase a woman's chances of conception. Evidence shows that the potency of a man's sperm may not be depleted upon frequent intercourse, says Dr. Singh, but having sex every other day at the time of ovulation (most often between days 12 and 16 of a woman's menstrual cycle) is sufficient as "sperm can survive an average of two days."

 

Understand your preemie's special needs

If your baby is born too early, the miracle of birth might be overshadowed by concern about your preemie's health and the possible long-term effects of prematurity. However, there's much you can do to take care of your premature baby — and yourself — as you look toward the future.

Your preemie's special challenges

A premature or preterm baby is born before 37 weeks of pregnancy have been completed. Generally, the earlier a baby is born, the higher the risk of complications.

At first, your premature baby might have little body fat and need help maintaining body heat. He or she might cry only softly and have trouble breathing. Feeding your preemie might be a challenge. Yellowing of the skin and eyes (jaundice), low blood sugar, and lack of red blood cells to carry oxygen to your baby's tissues (anemia) are possible. More-serious concerns might include infection, episodes of stopped breathing (apnea) and bleeding into the brain. Some preemies have impaired hearing or vision. Others experience developmental delays, learning disabilities, motor deficits, or behavioral, psychological or chronic health problems. Many, however, catch up and experience normal healthy development.

Taking care of your preemie

Your preemie's special needs call for special care, probably in a neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). In some cases, a premature baby needs to be transported to a hospital that can provide specialized care. The medical team caring for your baby will do everything they can to help your baby thrive. Your role as a parent is essential, too.

Find out about your preemie's condition. Uncertainty can be frightening — as can the monitors, respirators and other types of equipment in the NICU. Write down your questions and seek answers when you're ready. Read material provided by the hospital, or do your own research. The more you know, the better you'll be able to handle the situation.

Share your observations and concerns. If you notice changes in your preemie's condition, tell your baby's medical team right away.

Establish your milk supply. Breast milk contains proteins that help fight infection and promote growth. Although your preemie might not be able to feed from your breast or a bottle at first, breast milk can be given in other ways — or frozen for later use. Begin pumping as soon after birth as possible. Aim to pump at least six to eight times a day, round-the-clock. Also, ask your baby's doctor about your baby's need for supplementation — either in the form of breast milk fortifiers or preterm infant formula.

Spend time with your baby. Speak to your baby in loving tones and touch him or her often. Reading to your baby also can help you feel closer to him or her. When your baby is ready, cradle him or her in your arms. Hold your baby under your robe or shirt to allow skin-to-skin contact. Learn to feed, change and soothe your preemie. If you're concerned about interfering with intravenous tubes or monitor wiring, ask your baby's medical team for help. Consider personalizing your baby's bed with a special blanket or family pictures.
Taking care of yourself

You're concentrating on your baby now, but remember that you have special needs, too. Taking good care of yourself will help you take the best care of your preemie.

Allow plenty of time to heal. You might need more time to recover from the rigors of childbirth than you imagined. Eat a healthy diet, and get as much rest as you can. When your health care provider gives you the OK, make time for physical activity, too.

Acknowledge your emotions. Expect to feel joy, sadness, anger and frustration. You might celebrate successes one day, only to experience setbacks the next. Give yourself permission to take it one day at a time. Remember that you and your partner or spouse might react to stress and anxiety differently, but you both want what's best for your baby. Keep talking and supporting each other during this stressful time.

Take a break when you need it. If you leave the hospital before your baby, use your time at home to prepare for your baby's arrival. Your baby needs you, but it's important to balance time at the hospital with time for yourself and the rest of your family.

Be honest with your baby's siblings. If you have other children, try to answer their questions about the new baby simply. You might explain that their baby sister or brother is sick and you're worried. Reassure your children that the baby's illness isn't their fault. If your children aren't allowed to see the baby in the NICU, show them pictures.

Accept help from others. Allow friends and loved ones to care for older children, prepare food, clean the house or run errands. Let them know what would be most helpful.

Seek support. Surround yourself with understanding friends and loved ones. Talk with other NICU parents. Consider joining a local support group for parents of preemies, or check out online communities. Seek professional help if you're feeling depressed or you're struggling to cope with your new responsibilities.

Bringing baby home

When it's time to bring your baby home, you might feel relieved, excited — and anxious. After days, weeks or months in the hospital, it might be daunting to leave the on-site support of your baby's medical team behind. Keep in mind that as you spend more time with your baby, you'll better understand how to meet his or her needs and your relationship will grow stronger.

Before you leave the hospital, consider taking a course in infant CPR. Make sure you're comfortable caring for your baby, especially if you'll need to use special monitors at home or give your baby supplemental oxygen or other treatments. Ask as many questions as you need to. Nothing is silly or unimportant when it comes to caring for your baby. Schedule follow-up visits with your baby's doctor, and find out whom to call if you have questions or concerns in the meantime.

Because sitting semireclined in a car seat can increase the risk of breathing problems or a slow heartbeat, your baby might need to be monitored in his or her car seat before hospital discharge. When you have the OK to use a car seat, use it only during travel. In addition, don't place your baby in a backpack or other upright positioning devices — which might make it harder for him or her to breathe — until you talk to your baby's doctor.

To measure your premature baby's development, use his or her corrected age — your baby's age in weeks minus the number of weeks he or she was premature. For example, if your baby was born eight weeks early, at age 6 months your baby's corrected age is 4 months.

You'll always remember your baby's time in the hospital. Now cherish the opportunity to begin making memories at home.

 

How do we cope with colic

Taking care of a newborn, especially your first, is a challenge for any parent. If your baby is colicky, it can be overwhelming.

 

You're probably worried for your baby and frustrated because you can't help her. To top it all, the crying starts at the time of day when you're feeling most exhausted fromlack of sleep. This was probably not your vision of being a parent!

 

Persistent cryingisn't necessarily a sign that your baby is in pain. If your baby has other symptoms, such as afever,vomitingordiarrhoea, it's best to take her to thedoctor. But, in most cases of problem crying, the doctor will find that there is no underlying cause.

 

When your baby is having a bout of persistent crying, take a deep breath and carry on with the basics. Feed her on demand, wind her and change her nappy when she needs it. Try thesoothing techniquesthat usually work well for her.

 

However, bear in mind that your tried-and-trusted techniques may not work every time. Colic means that, even though your baby is healthy, your life is going to be pretty tough for the next few weeks. Dealing with colic isstressfuland parents often feel depressed, helpless and even angry. The last thing you want to do is to direct that anger at your baby.

 

If you feel tension and anger mount, put your baby down for a while so that you can calm yourself. If you are at home alone with your baby, set a time limit before returning to her. If you need to, set the kitchen timer for about five minutes, so you know how long it's been.

Taking a break, even if it is just a few minutes, will help you both. You could:

• take your baby for a walkso both of you can get some fresh air
• ask your partner, a neighbour or friend to babysit for a short while
• phone a close relative or friend to talk about what you're going through
• ask someone you trust to take care of your baby while you have a bath or lie down in a quiet room
• listen to arelaxation podcast
• use your games console to dance or exercise

When your baby is calmer:

• Have a rest, or some "me time", while your baby is sleeping.
• Enjoy your baby. Make a note of the good times.
• Talk to your partner about how you're both coping and what you can do.
• Try tomeet other parentswith babies of a similar age. Your local children's centre or clinic is a good place to start.
• Talk to yourhealth visitorordoctor. They are there to support you.

You could also contact the charityCry-sison 08451 228 669. You'll be put through to a parent who has been in the same situation as you.

Myths About Safe Sex and Sexual Health 2

MYTH: Women need a Pap smear when they turn 18

In 2003, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists changed its recommendation for Pap tests, also known as Pap smears; previously, the test was recommended immediately after a woman first has sexual intercourse or at age 18, whichever came first.

Now, Pap tests aren't recommended until women have been sexually active for about three years, or until they turn 21.

An early Pap test may seem harmless, but the stress of needing a Pap—often thought of as an uncomfortable and invasive procedure—may cause young women to avoid their gynecologist or refrain from asking about birth control. Young women should be able to approach their doctors and discuss these issues without the scrutiny of unnecessary tests, says Dr. Yen.

Why the reason for the change? Most cases of human papillomavirus (HPV) clear up on their own within three years; it's only the cases that stick around longer—and will be picked up by a later Pap test—that are real causes for concern because they can lead to cervical cancer.

MYTH: The "morning after" pill causes an abortion

Plan B, also known as the "morning after" pill, is not the same as RU-486, a pill that causes an abortion. In fact, if you take Plan B when you're already pregnant—that is, if a fertilized egg has attached to the wall of your uterus—it won't make a bit of difference.

In previous research, more than 30% of sexually active adolescents said that they believed emergency contraceptives induce abortion. And in Dr. Yen's study, 10 of the 34 websites studied failed to mention the difference between the two drugs.

"No one likes the word 'abortion'," says Dr. Yen, "so I think a lot of websites aren't going to state that Plan B is not, in fact, an abortive agent."

Myths About Safe Sex and Sexual Health-1

MYTH: You can't get pregnant the first time you have sex

It may seem like the odds are in your favor, but there's no reason to risk it: You are just as likely to get pregnant the first time you have sex as any other. "In fact, some statistics say that 20% of people get pregnant within a month of starting sex," says Dr. Yen.

MYTH: You can catch an STD from a toilet seat

Sexually transmitted diseases or infections can't live outside the body for a long period of time—especially not on a cold, hard surface like a toilet seat. Plus, they aren't present in urine, anyway (it's usually sterile), so the chances of you catching one from whoever used the bathroom before you are slim to none, says Dr. Yen.

What you do need to worry about, however, is what may seem like benign skin-to-skin or mouth-to-mouth contact. Kissing, for example, can spread herpes (and deeper kissing can even spread oral gonorrhea and chlamydia, Dr. Yen warns), while skin rubbing together can pass infections such as genital warts, herpes, scabies, and pubic lice.

Web of confusion

You know the best place to get information about your sexual health is from your doctor, but for whatever reason—convenience, privacy, or anxiety and urgency—you may one day find yourself searching the Internet for answers to intimate and important questions.

It's great to learn more about your body and your choices, but explore those search results with caution: A recent Stanford University study on adolescent reproductive health found that health websites are often riddled with errors, omissions, and outdated advice, and that it's not always easy to find the truth about common myths believed by many teenagers (and probably many adults as well!).

We spoke with Dr. Sophia Yen, MD, lead researcher of the study and adolescent medicine specialist at Lucile Packard Children's Hospital in Palo Alto, Calif., to get the facts behind these top sexual health misconceptions.

How to get your body ready for a baby -2

Should I have any vaccinations before trying for a baby?Many preventable infections can cause miscarriage or birth defects, so make sure your vaccinations are up to date. If you're not sure, a quick blood test will reveal whether you've been vaccinated against diseases such as rubella

If you need to be vaccinated with a live viral vaccine, as for rubella, you should wait one month after the vaccination before trying to conceive (NHS 2010). This is a precaution, as it's thought that your body needs time to get rid of the injected virus.

You may want to have a tetanus booster. If you're in a high risk group for hepatitis B, you may want to consider being vaccinated against that disease as well. Should I take any pre-pregnancy supplements?As soon as you decide to try for a baby, start taking a daily supplement containing 400mcg of folic acid. Taking folic acid has been found to greatly reduce the risk of neural tube defects, such as spina bifida (CKS 2007).

It's particularly important to have enough folic acid in the early weeks of pregnancy, when you may not even realise you're expecting. The early weeks are when your unborn baby's brain and nervous system are developing fast. You can buy folic acid supplements from pharmacies.

You'll need to take a higher daily dose of 5mg (CKS 2007), which is only available on prescription from your doctor, if you:

• have a family history of neural tube defect
• shave diabetes
• have coeliac disease
• take medicine for epilepsy
• have a body mass index (BMI) of over 30
  

Once you are pregnant, it is recommended you take a vitamin D supplement. What about smoking, drinking or taking drugs? Can my GP help with giving up?Smoking, drinking and illegal drugs can all cause health problems for your baby, and increase the risk of miscarriage (CKS 2007, NHS 2010). So it's well worth quitting now, rather than once you know you're pregnant.

Your doctor may be able to offer you a place on a smoking cessation programme to help you stop before you conceive (CKS 2007).

Experts can't be sure about a safe level of alcohol for an unborn baby. Department of Health guidelines say that if you're planning a pregnancy you should avoid alcohol altogether (NHS 2010).

If you do decide to drink, stick to no more than one or two units, once or twice a week, and don't get drunk (CKS 2007). If you feel you need help cutting down the amount that you drink, talk to your doctor.

If you take illegal drugs, your doctor can refer you for some extra support to help you give your baby a healthy start to life (CKS 2007).

To help you keep track of all your tests and vaccinations, print off our physical readiness checklist.

It's not just your body you need to get ready. Find out which lifestyle changes are advisable too.

 

How to get your body ready for a baby

Giving your baby the best start in life means getting your own health sorted well before you become pregnant. Your general wellbeing, and any medication you're taking, can all affect your chances of having a healthy pregnancy.

 

It's worth making adjustments to your lifestyle too, such as eating a balanced diet and taking more exercise.

 

Should I see my GP before I try to get pregnant?

Yes. It's worth visiting your local surgery. Most surgeries provide pre-conceptual care, which is care before you become pregnant.

 

Your check-up doesn't necessarily need to be with your GP. You may see a midwife or a practice nurse instead. Some private health insurance companies also offer these kinds of checks.

 

However, if you have a long-running medical condition such as epilepsy, asthma or diabetes, then seeing your GP is a must.

 

You may need to make some changes to your treatment before you conceive. This is because some types of medication are harmful to an unborn baby. For example, it's not safe to take some medications for severe acne when you're pregnant.

 

If you're changing your treatment, you may need time for your body to adjust. Arrange an appointment with your doctor at least three months before you want to conceive. If you have a medical condition, it's important that it's controlled as effectively as possible before you become pregnant (NHS 2010).

 

Some over-the-counter medicines, such as ibuprofen, are also best avoided, because they're not safe in early pregnancy (OTIS 2010).

 

Will I need any medical tests?

It depends on your circumstances and general health. Your doctor may suggest you have any of the following tests:

Blood tests

If your doctor is concerned you may be anaemic, she'll advise you have a blood test.

Depending on your ethnic background and medical history, you may also have a test for genetic disorders such as sickle-cell anaemia, Tay-Sachs disease and thalassaemia.

If you're not sure whether or not you're immune to rubella, you'll be offered a blood test to check for sure.

 

Screening tests for STIs

If you're concerned, you can ask your GP for screening tests for sexually transmitted infections, including:

• 
  hepatitis
• Bchlamydia
• syphilis
• HIV

You can have these tests done at your doctor's or at a genito-urinary medicine (GUM) clinic. Having treatments for STIs before you conceive can greatly increase your odds of a successful pregnancy.

Cervical smear

Check when you last had a cervical smear test, and book in for one if you're due to have one within the next year. Smears aren't normally done during pregnancy. This is because pregnancy can cause changes to your cervix, making the results difficult to interpret.

How to get your body ready for a baby--What can I expect at a pre-pregnancy check-up?

Your check-up is an opportunity to talk through any health concerns or worries you may have.

Your doctor or nurse will probably ask you about:

• 
  Your health and lifestyle.
• Your eating habits.
• Any problems with your periods.
• How much exercise you do.
• Whether your job involves working with hazardous substances.
• Your wellbeing, for example, whether you are suffering from depression, or have done so in the past.

If you're overweight, with a body mass index (BMI) of 30 or higher, your doctor will recommend that you try to lose weight. Losing weight may increase your chances of conceiving (NICE 2010) and will mean that you'll have a healthy start to your pregnancy.

If you're underweight, talk to your doctor about healthy ways to increase your BMI. You're more likely to have an irregular menstrual cycle if you have a low body weight. If you're missing periods, you won't release an egg (ovulate) during each cycle. A healthy BMI is between about 19 and 25.

Your doctor will also want to know about any existing health conditions you may have, such as:

• diabetes
• asthmahigh
• blood pressure (CKS 2007)

It will be helpful if your doctor also knows about:

• Any genetic conditions in your family. Tell your GP if you have a family history of Down's syndrome, sickle cell disease, thalassaemia or cystic fibrosis, so she can arrange further support and advice (NHS 2010).
• Your contraception. Most contraceptive methods, once you stop using them, shouldn't affect how long it takes to conceive. But if you've been using the contraceptive injection, it may take up to one year after your last injection for your usual fertility to return (CKS 2007, NHS 2010, NICE 2005: 22).

Your doctor may also ask about any terminations, miscarriages or ectopic pregnancies you've experienced. You may find it hard to go over painful memories. Try to bear in mind that knowing about what's happened in the past will help your doctor to ensure you get the best care.

The best time to get pregnant?

When's the best time to have sex to conceive?

The most effective time to have sex is during your fertile window, which can last up to six days every month. These six days are the five days leading up to, and the day of, ovulation (NCCWCH 2013:68, Lynch et al 2006), when your body releases an egg.

 

Your egg will survive for about a day once released. But sperm can survive for up to a week. Hence there is a six-day window for sperm to meet an egg.

 

You are most likely to conceive if you have sex one or two days before you ovulate (NCCWCH 2013:68, Lynch et al 2006, Germano and Jennings 2006). However, it's tricky to pinpoint the exact day or two just before ovulation. So if you don't want your sex life to be ruled by the calendar, your best bet is simply to enjoy sex every two or three days.

 

If you want to be more precise, though, you will need to work out when you will ovulate. When you'll ovulate in any given cycle depends on:
the length of your menstrual cyclehow regular your periods are
A menstrual cycle can be as short as 22 days or as long as 36 days (Fehring et al 2006). On average, a woman gets her period between 12 days and 14 days after she's ovulated (Fehring et al 2006).

If you have a 28-day menstrual cycle, you're likely to ovulate around the middle of your cycle. If you have a short cycle, you could ovulate within days of your period ending. A long cycle could mean that you won't ovulate until two weeks after your period has ended.

Nearly half of women have a cycle length that varies by more than seven days (Fehring et al 2006). If your menstrual cycle is different from one month to the next, your fertile window may also vary by about a week between each period.

That's why it's best to have sex every two to three days throughout your cycle (NCCWCH 2013:68). It's more effective than focusing your efforts only on the days you think you're about to ovulate. Also, sex every two to three days improves the quality of sperm compared to daily sex (NCCWCH 2013:68).

Do irregular periods make it harder to get pregnant?

Irregular periods do not necessarily mean that you are less fertile than women with regular periods. However, if your periods are irregular or are more than 36 days apart, it is worth seeing your GP.

Sometimes, irregular cycles are caused by conditions such as polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) or a thyroid disorder. These conditions could affect your chances of conceiving, so it is better to get help sooner rather than later (NCCWCH 2013:68).

The more irregular your periods are, the more difficult it can be to work out when you're fertile. So practise looking for changes in fertile mucus by checking daily (Germano and Jennings 2006, IRH 2009). Try to have sex when you notice two or more days of wet, slippery mucus. Or you may find it easier to just have regular sex throughout your cycle.

 

How do I know when I'm about to ovulate?

You may be very aware of when you ovulate, or you may not notice any changes at all. If you're thinking about getting pregnant, get in touch with your body. Signs that you are approaching ovulation can start around three weeks before you expect your next period. Try looking out for:

Increased vaginal discharge that's wetter, and like stretchy egg white. This is called fertile mucus (Bigelow et al 2004, Alliende et al 2005, Scarpa et al 2006, Campbell and Rockett 2006).Slight discomfort on one side of your belly (mittelschmerz) (Campbell and Rockett 2006).Feeling more sexy (Wilcox et al 2004, Pillsworth et al 2004).

One of the simplest ways of working out your fertile days is to check your cervical mucus every day (Germano and Jennings 2006, IRH 2009). Changes to your mucus are one of the easiest things for you to spot.

To find out more about your fertile window, try our ovulation calculator. And read our article for helpful tips for spotting other signs of ovulation.

 

Your child's talking timeline

From that first coo to the full play-by-play of their day at school, children's language skills usually develop in an orderly fashion. Here's an idea of what to expect when – but it's perfectly normal for a child to hit these milestones a little early or a little late. 

Baby
Birth to 3 months
Makes quiet cooing sounds when pleased. These are typically a single vowel, like ahhhh.
  
2 to 3 months
Cries differently in different situations. As you get to know your baby, you may be able to distinguish a hunger cry from the cry he makes when he's tired, for example.
  
3 to 4 months
Vocalizes mostly vowels, but cooing becomes a little more sophisticated, with more varied sounds.
  
5 to 6 months
Practices intonation by making her voice rise and fall, often in response to baby talk and your facial expressions.
    
Red flag: If your child isn't making vocal sounds by the time she's 6 months old, talk with her doctor.
  
7 to 12 months
Begins to babble with greater diversity, making new sound combinations and intonations. Tries to imitate your speech, putting consonants and vowels together (like "bah-BAH-bah" or "dee-dee-dah"). Has pretend conversations with you, taking turns "talking."
 
Toddler
12 months
Has said his first word. Knows one to five words well enough to use them.
  
14 months
Uses inflection (for example, raises her voice at the end of a question, like, "more?") and makes hand gestures to complement her speech.
    
Red flag: If your child isn't saying any words by the time she's 15 months old, bring it up with her doctor.
  
16 months
Talks to someone much of the time as opposed to just babbling out loud. Calls you to get your attention ("Mommy!"), nods and shakes head for yes and no. Makes many common consonant sounds, like t, d, n, w, and h.
  
18 months
Has a vocabulary of five to 20 words, including names ("Mama"), verbs ("eat"), and adjectives ("cold"). Uses common phrases ("want doll") to make requests.
  
18 to 24 months
Starts putting two-word phrases together for more novel purposes ("Daddy go," "milk mess").
 
Preschooler  
24 months
Knows 150 to 300 words. Uses short, two- or three-word sentences with lots of pauses ("Baby ... fall down!" "Me go ... school?").
  
2 to 3 years
Can carry on a simple conversation about something in the immediate environment. Asks simple questions frequently. Expands phrases from three- to six-word sentences and develops a vocabulary of 450 words, including lots of verbs. Uses past tense by tacking on a "d" sound to verbs ("runned") and plurals by adding an "s" sound to nouns ("mans"). Uses pronouns (I, she, we) correctly.
    
Red flag: If your 2- or 3-year-old echoes your questions rather than answering them, tell her doctor. This could be an early sign of a language delay.
  
3 to 4 years
Is able to talk and play at the same time. Knows about 800 to 1,000 words. Favorite words often include "why," "what," and "who." Can be understood most of the time. Can tell you what happened if you were out of the room.
    
Red flag: Your child may sound as though he's stuttering if he gets tripped up on his words in his excitement to communicate. This is perfectly normal. If it continues for more than six months, though, or if he tenses his jaw or grimaces while trying to get the words out, ask your child's doctor for a referral to a speech pathologist.
 
Big Kid
  4 to 5 years

Communicates easily and boasts a vocabulary of about 2,000 words. Can retell a simple story with a beginning, middle, and end while looking at pictures. Can use four to five sentences to describe a picture, with most of the grammar elements in place. Pronounces most sounds correctly (but may still have trouble with th, r, and l). Uses lots of descriptive words, including time-related words like "yesterday."
  
6 to 7 years
Can describe how two items are the same or different, retell a story or event without the help of pictures, and recount past conversations and events. Uses some irregular plural nouns ("men," "teeth").
  
8 years
Has mastered all speech sounds as well as the rate, pitch, and volume of speech. Uses complex and compound sentences correctly and is capable of carrying on a conversation with an adult.

 

have sex during your period? The Best Sex of Your Life

T'S OKAY TO DO IT DURING THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
People check in with us on this issue all the time and our immediate reaction to this question is always "Why are you asking us instead of your partner?" This is something that should be discussed with your lover as each person's sexual preferences and needs are different. If you're comfortable with the idea of having sex or messing around during your period, then ask your partner what his opinion is, or the next time you're on your period and he tries to make a move, just let him know and see how he responds. If he doesn't seem to care, you'll have your answer.

 

However, it's important to keep in mind that first and foremost, the option of having sex during your period has an awful lot to do with how you personally feel about it. Are you the type who experiences

mood swings or has to deal with horrible cramping? Are you normally withdrawn during this particular time of the month? These are all very legitimate reasons to avoid sex during your period.

 

Ironically, sex can potentially alleviate some of the discomfort that menstruation presents for a woman. Sex promotes blood flow which has the potential to minimize headaches and even relax cramping, and that's not saying anything about the obvious tension release! Thanks to endorphins released when you get down, sex can also be a great kick-start to feeling re-energized during a downswing of your mood. This can also be a time where the surge of hormones can create a heightened sense of libido, which can certainly benefit sexual activity

 

SEX MYTH: YOU CAN'T GET PREGNANT ON YOUR PERIOD
Wrong! You can get pregnant anytime: Before your period, on your period, and after your period. Sperm can stay in the vagina for up to seven days, so even if you're shedding the last egg, the sperm might still be in there when you release the next one. So, unless you want to get pregnant — and maybe you do —i t's important to use protection or hormonal birth control.

Also, we should let you know that period-sex really isn't all that different than sex any other time. Sure it can be a little messier — and wetter — then usual, but sometimes that just adds to the kink! So, even if you're not sure that you're comfortable with sex during this time of the month, an attempt couldn't hurt. If it's not for you, then at least you know. But if it does work then you can enjoy a whole new experience going forward.

 

WHAT IF MY GUY DOESN'T LIKE IT?
Now, if it's your guy who would rather avoid the dirty lovin' at this time of month, well, that's a whole other situation. For many guys, a woman's time of month is a turn off. This is mainly a mental reaction because physically things aren't all that different. If this is something you want to try, but your partner is hesitant because of the blood, why not turn off the lights? If all goes according to plan, once you two are turned on and ready to go, his focus will likely be on how things feel versus how they may look. If your partner prefers a little less clean up (not to mention the obvious protection from risk), you two can always choose to use a condom. Also, get yourself a large towel to spread over the bed sheets and off you go!

 

GOING ORAL
So, if you are into the idea of having sex while you have your period and you and your partner have both moved beyond any hesitations, then we can take things to the next level: oral sex. You'll find that even men who don't take issue with period sex, draw the line with oral sex during that time of the month. But again, everything regarding intimacy and comfort level is based on personal choice.

 

However, what many men don't consider when it comes to period sex is that flow levels vary throughout your time. Sure there will be heavier days where you can expect a little more fluid but there are also lighter days which might be a good time to venture into making an attempt.

Oral sex during your period can stay focused on the clitoris, which is mainly away from the flow and won't be quite as shocking to your man. If you are on your back there is also less potential for mess. Your partner can also use oral dams (like a condom for their mouths during oral sex) at this time of month. In return, if you are not comfortable with giving him oral sex after he's gotten messy, put a condom on him (a fresh one) before going down.

PERIODS AND SEX

Does the mere mention of periods and sex in the same sentence make you cringe? You may be surprised to know that sex during your period can be extremely pleasurable – and it doesn't have to involve plastering your bed with old towels. If you think you might be willing to give it a try, or if you're just plain curious, here's everything you need to know to enjoy lovemaking all month long.

 

Let communication flow
You and your partner have a romantic getaway planned. The morning you're set to leave... surprise! Aunt Flo comes knocking at your door. What's a girl to do? Well, take those cute white shorts out your bag, for starters. But don't forgo your romantic weekend entirely just because you're riding the cotton pony. Talk to your partner and find out if he might be interested in making love while you have your period. If he has concerns, find out what they are and how you might be able to address them.

 

Keep it clean
Chances are, the mess factor is your number one concern, and the reason why you and your partner may retreat to your own side of the bed during high tide. The prospect of bleeding during intercourse doesn't paint a pretty picture – especially if you tend to have heavy periods. Did you know there's a period protection option that is compatible with sex? The menstrual cup is inserted entirely inside the vagina to catch your menstrual flow, and it can be worn for up to 12 hours. According to the makers of the Softcup menstrual cup, you can have clean, comfortable sex after inserting a new Softcup just prior to intercourse.

 

Sex with benefits
If cramping is an issue for you during your period, you might think having sex would only exacerbate the pain. Instead of popping a pain reliever and curling up into a cramped up little ball, try a little lovemaking.

According to Dr. Laura Berman, Assistant Clinical Professor of OB-GYN and Psychiatry at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University in Chicago, "Sex while you are menstruating can help ease the symptoms of PMS if you achieve orgasm." Berman explains, "an orgasm releases endorphins, natural painkillers and mood enhancers, which can help with the cramps, headaches, mild depression, and irritability sometimes associated with periods."

 

Safe sex
Unless you're trying to get pregnant, don't make the mistake of having unprotected sex during your period. Just because you're flowing doesn't mean you aren't ovulating. Take the same precautions you normally would, and use appropriate birth control while making love during your period.

Dr. Berman notes that it's especially important to have safe sex during your period because you're at greater risk for giving and receiving sexually transmitted diseases while menstruating. She explains that the cervix opens to allow blood to pass through, which creates a pathway for bacteria to travel deep inside the pelvic cavity. Dr. Berman also notes that during menstruation, a woman is at greater risk of developing yeast or bacterial infections due to the vagina's pH being less acidic at that time.

How to Have Sex During Your Period

Sex during your period can deliver amazing sensations (even more amazing than the normal ones, believe it or not). If you can get past the cultural taboos, it opens up a week that's otherwise limited to tubs of ice cream and stomach cramping. If you and your partner aren't intimidated by the "icky" factor that hangs up a lot of people, follow these tips to have sex during your period, and enjoy the pleasure while minimizing the mess.

 

Method 1 of 3: Staying Clean and Healthy

1.Use contraception. When you're on your period, you're at higher risk for STDs and pelvic infections. What's more, you're less likely to get pregnant, sure, but it's not impossible.So if you thought this was your ticket to ride, sorry -- you still gotta stay safe. Here are some of your options:

Diaphragms do double-duty as birth control devices and as menstrual cups to inhibit flow. Sometimes, diaphragms can be felt during sex, and removal can be messy. However, they are generally easy to use because your gynecologist will provide a diaphragm fit exactly to your cervical measurements.

Contraceptive sponges are foam devices soaked in spermicide that are inserted into your vagina during sex. They can prevent pregnancy and have the side benefit of absorbing flow, although they don't prevent STDs.

Male condoms will help prevent pregnancy, block STDs, and keep blood from getting on your partner's penis.

Female condoms, which will also keep your partner from coming into contact with blood while enabling more heat and sensation, are also a good form of birth control, although they will provide slightly less protection than male condoms. You can improve the effectiveness of a female condom by putting some spermicide on the closed end before you insert it into your vagina.

 

2. Wear a cup that will stop the menstrual flow from leaving your vagina. Wear a menstrual cup for sexual play that doesn't involve intercourse. Wear a softcup for penetrative intercourse.
Avoid wearing regular menstrual cups during penetration. They are not designed to be used that way and will probably leak. However, if you just want to fool around, menstrual cups prevent leaking and allow for mess-free play including oral sex. Skip cups made of rubber because the rubbery smell and the taste of rubber in your vaginal fluid may be unpleasant for your partner. Use a silicone cup instead.

Instead softcups are specifically designed to be used during intercourse. They are shaped like a diaphragm, are very flexible, and available at most drugstores. Keep in mind that while you can have intercourse with a softcup, it doesn't work as a contraceptive.

3.Know that sperm stay alive for up to 72 hours.That's three days those little guys have to swim around doing whatever they dang well please. So if you do take the risk of having unprotected sex and your partner ejaculating into you, that's what'll be going on inside you. If your period is over tomorrow, though the risk of getting pregnant is minimal, it's still there.

 

Method 2 of 3: Mastering the Mess-Free Deed

1.Get some towels. You don't want your menstrual fluid (combined with everything else) to soak into your sheets and mattress, so while you're having sex place some towels beneath you and some tissues to your side. The towels will be on constant duty; the tissues will be used to wipe yourself off just before sitting up (when all is said and done).

If odor is a problem, don't let it ruin the moment -- throw on some blankets. If you keep them above your midsections, they'll help block the wafting scents.

 
2.Stick to the missionary position. Lie on your back to lessen the flow of blood while you're having intercourse.

Also, be careful about deep penetration because your cervix may be lower and more sensitive during your period. If anything starts to hurt, just tell your partner and proceed with care.

 

3.Have sex in the shower. Not only is this less messy from the get-go, it's a change of pace, too. When you're under the flow of the water, that other flow becomes a lot less noticeable. If you can fit two in comfortably, give it a shot (if you haven't already!).

4.Don't get too handsy. Unless your partner's into uterine lining, they probably shouldn't start feeling around down there. However, if you're the type that needs loads of foreplay, you're in luck! You already have a natural lubricant, so your partner's fingers (and whatever else) can have the night off.

That doesn't mean you should skip the foreplay entirely. No, no, no, no -- that's a travesty! Just use it as an excuse to experiment with new tricks and moves.

5.Stick to your lighter days. This just makes sense. If you know that days 3-5 are lighter than days 1 and 2, just keep your panties on for that 48 hours. Let the anticipation build and avoid any awkward trips to the laundromat.

If it doesn't bother your partner and they're totally down for day 1 sex, evaluate your concerns. Maybe it's something you could get over -- after all, it's no less sanitary than what you've been doing. It's just a bit redder!

 

6.Take a shower after. There will probably be at least a little something on your skin that needs to be washed off. If you didn't do the deed in the shower, hop in after for at least a quick rinse. You'll feel better, too.

If you're using toys during this time, get those things sanitary immediately. Putting it off will only result in a, how do you say, less-than-glamorous experience. All in all, get everything hygienic as quickly as possible.

EditMethod 3 of 3: Convincing Your Partner

1.Talk it over beforehand. Not everybody enjoys period sex, so it's best not to initiate sex during your period and deliver an awkward surprise to your partner and a potentially frustrating response to you. Instead, talk it over and find out what your partner thinks about the situation before you get started. He probably has an opinion!

Some religions and cultures consider the act of having intercourse during your period to be wrong. While no scientific principles support this restriction, you'll have to respect your partner's feelings on the matter.

 

2.Reap the benefits. Sex on your period actually makes a lot of sense, if you look at it from the right angle. A lot of women are hornier during this time, so the sex can be even better. But what's more, it's good for your period.

Having sex on your period actually makes it shorter. The muscle contractions of the orgasm actually drive out everything faster (as opposed to making it magically disappear). Your period may be a bit heavier, but it'll shrink in duration.

Your cramps will be lessened. An orgasm is our bodies' version of a natural painkiller. It's a rush that wipes away all those aches and floods our feel-good receptors in our brains. If you're out of Midol, take to the sheets!

 

3.Be confident. Your period and your vagina are in no way dirty or gross. Having sex while menstruating isn't weird, uncommon, unhygienic or unsafe. It's all in your head, so quit psyching yourself out!

If both of you enjoy it (and you inevitably will), why the fuss? You may feel awkward when you first start, but your mind will be taken off the matter in minutes. Maybe even seconds!
4Be inventive. Sex is generally thought of as penetration, but there are many other forms of sexual play that can bring pleasure to both partners, even if you or he do not wish to have vaginal intercourse during your period. Take this opportunity to discuss and brainstorm new ideas.

 
EditTips
Make sure you trust your partner, this may be one of those things you only do with someone you love.

Stay safe! Since the cervix of your vagina opens during menustration, you are more prone to STDs, bacteria and pregnancy. Menstrual flow contains germs, and it can be unhealthy for the partner.

Talk to your doctor about birth control pills. Certain brands of oral contraceptives allow women the option of extending the time between periods. Just don't skip a pill or you may experience spotting (you'll also need to use an alternative, like a condom, for backup). However, these pills also make knowing when you're pregnant more difficult.