What should I do now that I'm not breastfeeding?

Give yourself a break
If you've been dead set on breastfeeding since pregnancy, you're probably feeling disappointed. Just like moms who opt for natural childbirth but end up needing a cesarean, women who want to breastfeed but can't often feel a sense of failure and sometimes blame themselves.

Try not to beat yourself up, but do take the time you need to feel sad, mad, or any other emotion you may be experiencing. "Mourn your inability to breastfeed," says Barger. "For some moms, this is a loss." Avoid telling yourself that you should've tried for another day or another feeding.

Talk about your feelings
If you consulted a lactation expert through all your nursing troubles, talk to her. Be honest about your feelings. She'll likely offer soothing and consoling words that you should take to heart.

Your spouse or partner, good friends, and family members can also be great sounding boards for your feelings. Take a chance and open up to them.

BabyCenter's Formula Feeding Mamas group is a great place to find other moms who are bottle-feeding, whether by choice or necessity. Get your questions answered or just meet other moms who know what you're going through.

Find out about donated breast milk
If your heart's set on feeding your baby breast milk and your child meets certain criteria, you may qualify for donated breast milk from a milk bank. Talk to your baby's doctor about the possibilities.

Can I still bond with my baby if I don't breastfeed?
Absolutely. Breastfeeding is a wonderful way to strengthen your connection with your child, but it isn't the only way.

At feeding time, hold your infant close to you and make eye contact. One client of Barger's who couldn't breastfeed ended up bottle-feeding her child as if she were nursing him. She held him in a breastfeeding position and had lots of skin-to-skin contact.

Remember that your relationship with your child won't be based solely on your ability to nurse him. How you respond when he cries, how often you hold and play with him, and how you are as a parent matter more than how you feed him.