Are you ready for a baby?

When weighing when (and if) to have children, a lot of variables come into play. Age, finances, relationship status, educational and career objectives, health, and ideal family size are all important considerations. These factors are often at odds with each other, making a difficult decision even more complicated. You are often better equipped (biologically-speaking) to handle the demands of pregnancy and child care when you are young. In terms of psychological, relationship and financial readiness, however, you may be better off having a child later in life. And at any stage, you can wrestle with feelings of uncertainty or inadequacy about being a parent. 

Emotionally Ready

I am not going to put an age on here, because no matter the age, some people just aren’t ready or even want to be parents. I hate hearing the “Oh, you should be 30 to have a kid.” I know a lot of people in their thirties and some people act like they’re still freshman in college with late night binge drinking, fraternity and sorority drama, and shirking relationship and professional responsibilities. Some people, got it together. They know who they are, what they want, they’ve accomplished a good lot of their personal goals, they’re comfortable with themselves and they’re ready to be parents. If you’re in your twenties and can handle the emotional, spiritual, and physical demand of parenthood (let alone with a healthy child) then you’re ready to be a parent. Parenting is not just about going through the motions of providing and physically caring for a child. It’s about the emotional investment: the cultural and spiritual education of a new human being. Are you prepared to teach another human being not just how to behave, but how to see the world and change it for the better? Tough one to consider.

Financial
A most important aspect of bearing and raising a child is money. Let’s face it. These little ones don’t come cheap. Can you afford it? A wise woman once said, “If you waited until your finances were in perfect shape, you may never have children”. Well, you don’t need to be in perfect shape, but these suggestions may help. Sit down with your spouse and list some typical maternity/postpartum expenses.
Does your income and savings cover these costs?

Doctor Appointments:
For the first two trimesters, you will see the doctor every four weeks. In the third trimester, these visits will increase to every two weeks, and in the final stretch, every week. What are your medical insurance co-payments? 

Hospital Expenses:
Typical expenses may include labor & delivery fees, OB/GYN fees, nursery fees, circumcision fees (if you have a boy), pediatrician fees, and surgical and anesthesia fees for a Cesarean. The typical cesarean rate in the country right now is 25% – 30% of all live births. Remember that medical insurance covers much of this. Find out how much before you take the plunge.

Maternity Clothes:
 Do you know any pregnant women that could loan you some maternity clothes?

Baby Gear & Clothes:
Take stock of everything you will need to care for that precious bundle of joy. Check out the SmartMomma Store to see all that you would need. Remember that you will get some gear (mostly clothes and bedding) from your baby shower too.

Time off Work:
Does your company offer paid time off? Do you qualify for the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), which guarantees you 12 weeks UNPAID time off? Are you required to use your sick and vacation time first? Does your company pay you short term disability pay for having your baby?

Child Care:
Are you planning on going back to work after you have your baby? If so, call around to a couple of home daycares, commercial daycares, and nanny agencies. Get an idea of the cost of childcare in your area.

Physical
Before you decide to take the pregnancy plunge, make an appointment for a fertility consultation with your OB/GYN. Your doctor will examine you, take note of your immunizations, and give you a prescription for some prenatal vitamins. Prenatal vitamins are essential for a healthy pregnancy and should be taken even before conception if possible. Ask your doctor for more information. Once you have a clean bill of health and your prenatal vitamins, you are ready to start trying.

Of course, life is going to change: Marriages will either fail or become stronger. Finances go down the drain or money comes raining in. We get an itch to just dump our responsibilities and run away. That’s the natural flow and rhythm of life. The responsibility of having and raising a new human being isn’t easy and shouldn’t be taken lightly, but at the end of the day, just as our mentors, family, and friends have told us, you’ve got to trust your gut and stay committed to your vision of happiness – whatever that may be – on the journey of parenthood.